Ring! Ring! Ring! The sound of my phone silence throughout the supermarket as I finished my grocery list for my grandmother who just suffered a serious stroke. It was a humid but hot evening of September 17, 2009. I picked up the phone to hear a familiar voice on the other line instructing me not to purchase the items on the list. This is after 5 minutes I called them up asking for specific brand and diaper size. The voice belongs to my Auntie. It was she who broke the news that my grandmother just died. The news brought sadness to all of us and also oddity to my family. It was odd because me and my cousins had just been talking, remembering, and reminiscing about the relative that had just passed away. I thought it was kind of spooky and coincidental. Nothing was said to about the real cause of her death. I figured it was because of old age. I later found out that the cause was cancer that later evolved to a serious complications. Our old folks didn't mention anything about it, maybe because they are all hoping she will last another decade or two.
The concept of death to my family is not seen as a tragedy but more like an anticipated end to a person's distress, leading to the beginning of his or her life with God where happiness exists. Death is not the end but rather a continuation of kinship ties between the survivors and the deceased. Death is a crisis in life that has to be expected. The concept of death is also used to discipline a child, threaten an adult, to curse an enemy. It is also a topic of many conversations about who died, why that person died, when that person died, or that it might have been a good thing that he or she died. Through these conversations, observations, and participation, children learn early about death and how the system of obligations by the kin is enacted. Even before an individual becomes a responsible member of society, a Filipino child, like myself, knows what to do when someone dies.
I learned about death at a young age when my Auntie died of heart problem years ago. My family and I visited the province for two weeks to attend her funeral, an event so clear in my memory. The funeral rituals were so different from those of Filipinos in other parts of the world. However, the beliefs held by the Filipinos are the same in both locations.
During these nightly prayers, refreshments are served to the guests. On the ninth and final night of prayer, or makisiam, a feast is prepared for the guests. An atang, or food offering, is set aside as an offering to the anitos (spirits). In the Philippines, the novena for the dead begins after the deceased is buried . Because refrigeration is expensive, burial usually takes place soon after the person has died, usually two to three days.
Exactly one year to the day of death, wacsi (the final mourning) is celebrated by a feast and mass or prayer sessions. This occasion signifies the end of the mourning when the bereaved can resume wearing regular clothing. And I guess this will be part of my annual marked dates. A day when my grandma rejoined our Creator in heaven.
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